Improving Your Relationship Through Tantra - Retirement Net by Suzie Heumann

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Improving Your Relationship Through Tantra

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It's easy to add a new dimension to a relationship when it's fun and exciting

Posted June 30, 2009

"Whatever thoughts are in their minds, they vanish completely with the onslaught of passionate embrace. When a man and woman are all in oneness, thus clasped together, there is nothing in the whole world to surpass the superb joy of that moment." —The Kama Sutra

Ah, in a perfect world this is the way it would be. We would be so in love that we couldn't wait to see each other; to smother each other in kisses and caresses; to tell each other of our day with all its intimate hurts and little glories.

The reality is that sometimes long-term relationships begin to develop into more of a basic support system than a loving, growing, vital partnership. We begin to discount touch, care, clear communication, trust, truth telling and sensual and sexual activity. The daily grind runs our lives and relationships.

When we can step back and vision another set of possibilities, though, we can bring about profound transformation to our marriages and relationships. The Kama Sutra and the tenets of Tantric philosophy taught that love is a profound vehicle to conscious, ecstatic living. Practices included not only a complete set of positions but elaborate techniques for kissing, hugging, holding, speaking and conducting ones self in an honorable manner, according to the times.

If you find yourself in this situation with your partner, spouse or lover, it often feels impossible to create a new vision and possibility in which to build your loving connection again. Here are a few easy practices to increase bonding and connection.

Try spending five minutes every morning and every evening in the Spoon Position. Place the woman in the front, on her side, with the partner just behind her, in a lying down position also. The person behind then places their hand over the heart area of the person in front. The person in front sets the pace of breathing slowly and consciously.

Sit quietly together in a comfortable position and simply eye gaze for five minutes. You don't need to smile or engage the other person, just relax and open your eyes—they're the windows to your soul. Let your partner in and gaze lovingly at their eyes as they let you into their soul. You can either breathe together or alternate your breath, but either way, be mindful of your breathing. This practice aids in putting us into a common space and rhythm from which to relate.

Make it a regular practice to tell your personal truth to your partner. When we say what is in our hearts in a vulnerable, non-blaming way, our partner will have compassion and caring show up in place of hurt and blame.

Introduce a new playful experience into your lovemaking. Perhaps you might want to blindfold your partner and treat them to an hour of sensual pleasuring. Tantric philosophy has us take risks to explore the realms of conscious growing. Risk something with your partner—tell a truth, try something new, give where you haven't before, make an unreasonable request that will actually delight your partner. It's easy to add a new dimension to a relationship when it's fun and a bit exciting so what do you have to lose? Go for it!


For more information about Suzie Heumann and her work, visit To really get the most out of your loving, consider some advanced training. The Premium Membership is your 24 hour a day guide to the skills that will take you to new heights of pleasure and intimacy.


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